I love my birthday. I always love the idea of getting one year older. One more year full of adventures and mishaps. For me getting older is the price, the dollar amount you pay to live. It’s like rent money.
Now! What annoys the shit out of me is when my friends say things like “Oh my god! We are so old! 25 is so old! Why are we getting so freaking old?!”
I mean, really? Are we really “that old”?
B.) You are giving yourself way too much credit if you think you are mature enough to have this whole life things figured out. Being old comes with wisdom. And clearly we don’t have the wisdom to realize being a 20something and 30something is a blessing. “Youth” is really wasted on the youth.
You know what old is too me? 92. 92 years is hella old. That in mind – we are so far from being truly OLD.
I am a strong believer that age is just a state of mind. If you already feel old at 29 or 35, well then sure. Life is pretty much over for you. However – you can still change. Start living life to the fullest. My mother always told me: “you are only young once but can be immature for life. And the rate you are going at you are going to be immature on your death bed.” Trust.
On the subject of my mother, the OG K Dot, is 63. She has written countless books, still writes to this day, worked as a journalist, had a job as a producer for numerous radio shows, worked as a copy editor in an advertising company, successfully started her own business, gave birth to two healthy daughters, has been to Paris, Rome and Ireland, has had a hip replacement and is a survivor of cancer. That’s only a few plot points in her 63 years on this planet. And she still has so much time left!
I am turning 25 at the end of this month. For those who have been following my wild journey of my birthdays might be aware that I christen each year with a title and goal. When I was 23 it was my “Jordan Year.” Goal – to do shit with no fear of failing. I was very satisfied with the results.
Turning 24 I made it my “bitch don’t kill my vibe” year. To be completely honesty, I feel like I failed at my goal. Which was to worry more about me and careless about what people think. I got sidetracked the coldest and really lost myself. But that’s OK. No need to shame myself anymore. I can only just move forward from here.
24 was a really tough year. Not a bad year, just tough. A lot of changes and growth happened. With growth comes growing pains. One can not happen without the other. Bittersweet but oh so very deliciously in its rewards.
After watching Love & Basketball (all big life choices should be made after watching that movie, just saying) I have now deiced to calling my 25th year on this earth “The end of 1st quarter.” If I’m lucky I will live to be 100 (the women in my family tend to live very long lives) This is just the ending of my first quarter.
If life is a game – here’s the recap: I survived middle school and high school. Two places I was pretty sure were going to eat me a live. I was a poet for nearly 10 years! Landed my “dream job.” Quit my “dream job.” Stopped being embarrassed to be called a writer. Went to film school. Nearly died twice. Once from a ruptured appendix. The other time was being hit by a drunk driver. I published a book, made friends, lost friends. Grew up with my family. Grew apart from family. I am someone who lives with depression, PTSD, and is bi-polar. I fell in love. Deep, rich, beautiful love. I had my heart broken. Shattered. Ripped from my body. I laughed a lot and I cried just as much if not more. But here I am. Honored to be getting another year older. Also! I moved to Los Angeles. Truly getting on the road to get on Saturday Night Live. (Or become the creator of my own awesome show…)
So let’s say an ESPN report was interviewing me I would be like;
“Well Natasha, thanks for asking. I am really proud of what’s happen so far. I had a lot of doubt going into this but I’m trying my hardest to stay strong. I took a lot of uncalled for hits. Even threw a feel myself. Which I am embarrassed to admit too. I did make some bad plays in the beginning (thanks for pointing that out.) I did take out the wrong players at the wrong times. Even traded a few. I met new players who have done nothing but encouraged me on becoming a better performer. Bounced around for a bit, lost site of my goals. But overall, things are looking up for me. I still have 3 whole quarters ahead of me. And it’s anyone’s game at this point.”
(I get I am going super strong on this sports metaphor right now but like I said Love & Basketball man. Such a great movie.)
Maybe next year I’ll adventure out of the sport metaphors.
But look! What I am trying to say is – life is fucked up. Life is beautiful. Life is fucking beautiful. Do you. Do you to the fullest. Things will hit rock bottom way before you can catch your breath. Then again, there will be times where you are so overwhelmed and dizzy off happiness. And drunk off good vibes.
After this summer, negative thoughts still burn holes in my mind. I like to think I am just making space for more important, happier thoughts. I can be negative when I’m dead. I’ll be like man, I am dead. This really sucks. But until then – here’s too another 75 years.